Burton on Trent the New Cougar Hotspot of 2015

burtonBurton on Trent has a population of 65,000 – which to put in to context is less than 1% of the population of London – has suddenly puzzled top scientists and boffins from all over the world (ok using creative license a little creatively here) by becoming the town where more cougars have signed up with us than any other town in the UK outside London.

Burton, as commonly known to those who know her well, is famous for the brewery and beer making. (yes guys, beer and cougars in one small town just two and a half hours drive from London up the M1) but we have been trying to uncover the true hard facts to explain what’s creating this quite surprising achievement.

Using our Sherlock Holmes power of uniquely assessing a situation to determine, using the smallest of detail, the most probable outcome we went in search of undeniable factors. History of it’s most notable people such as the actor Philip Bond, or journalist Alastair Yates really wasn’t giving up any potential clues. Then a voila moment struck – marmite. Burton was the town in which the first marmite factory was built back in 1902. In the past 113 years it has served the people of Burton well, very well by the sounds of it.

Could marmite hold the secret ingredient. It’s high in vitamins and nutrients including B12. Now vitamin B12 is also thought to be a natural libido enhancer and helps ‘awaken the senses’ shall we say. Not only that but to further prove our case we’ll turn to Niacin, also very much found in your regular spoonful of marmite. Niacin has another name, the ‘Energy Vitamin’. Bam a spoonful of marmite not only increases your libido but your energy levels too.

Men have been buying diamonds and expensive gifts for years to woo women, perhaps a trip to their local co-op for a tub of the love-it-or-hate-it paste could have done the trick long before now.

Now in order to continue this opportunity to grab a cougar, buy some marmite and live near a brewery  help bring the facts to the many readers of our pages, in order for them to have all the information they need to make an informed opinion we felt it was only fair, in the name of journalism, to spend 6 months in Burton-on-Trent to thoroughly ensure we leave no cougar bed stone unturned.

We’re currently dashing off over to theTrainLine to book us some seats on the 8:46am tomorrow from Euston via Tamworth. Travelodge here we come!

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